Running school events, raising funds and supporting the school community can be hugely rewarding. But let’s be honest: the hardest part usually isn’t the planning, the risk assessments, or even the clear-up.
It’s learning how to work well with lots of different people — all with their own personalities, pressures and ways of doing things.
In a PTA, you don’t choose your “team” like in a workplace. You inherit a ready-made mix of parents, carers, staff and volunteers, each bringing their own experiences, expectations and communication styles. That’s both the strength of a PTA and one of its biggest challenges.
1. We all turn up with different expectations
Some people like structure, agendas and clear roles.
Others are more “let’s just get stuck in and figure it out as we go.”
Neither is wrong — but when expectations aren’t shared, it can cause frustration:
- One person feels things are too informal.
- Another feels things are becoming too rigid or intense for a volunteer role.
- Someone else isn’t sure what they’re supposed to be doing at all.
What helps:
Being clear up front. Simple things like:
- Agreeing who’s leading an event.
- Setting rough roles or teams.
- Being honest about how decisions will be made.
It doesn’t have to be corporate — but a bit of structure saves a lot of stress.
2. Not everyone communicates in the same way
We’ve all seen it:
A quick message in WhatsApp that was meant to be “direct” can come across as blunt or critical.
A long email full of detail can feel overwhelming to someone who just wants the headlines.
People differ in:
- How direct they are.
- How comfortable they feel giving or receiving feedback.
- How they respond when they’re tired, stressed or under pressure.
What helps:
- Remembering that tone is easy to misread in messages.
- Picking up the phone or chatting in person if something feels off.
- Giving each other the benefit of the doubt — especially during busy event periods.
Sometimes “they’re being difficult” is actually “they’re exhausted and it came out wrong.”
3. Everyone brings their own pressures from outside
In a volunteer setting, you rarely see the full picture of someone’s life.
Behind the scenes, people might be:
- Working full-time.
- Caring for family.
- Dealing with health issues or money worries.
- Juggling several commitments as well as PTA.
This means:
- Some people can give more time than others.
- Some can take on leadership roles; others just want a small, clear task.
- Sometimes people drop out at the last minute — not because they don’t care, but because life happens.
What helps:
Creating a culture where it’s okay to:
- Say “no” or “I can’t this time.”
- Step back without feeling guilty.
- Be honest about what you can realistically do.
We’re all human. The PTA only works when volunteering is sustainable for the people involved.
4. Strong opinions… and how to handle them
Passionate people care. And in a PTA, that’s exactly who you want.
But passionate people also sometimes have:
- Strong views on how things “should” be done.
- Different ideas about priorities (profit, inclusion, fun, sustainability, tradition, etc.).
- Emotional investment in particular events or ways of working.
Disagreement isn’t a problem in itself. It becomes a problem when:
- It turns personal instead of practical.
- It happens in public chats instead of private conversations.
- It forgets that we’re all volunteers trying to do something positive for the children.
What helps:
- Focusing on the issue, not the person.
- Asking, “What’s best for the children and the school?” as a grounding question.
- Using phrases like:
- “I see it differently – can I share why?”
- “Can we find a middle ground here?”
- “Let’s park this and pick it up 1:1.”
5. Leadership doesn’t mean doing everything
Chairs, event leads and trustees often end up in the middle of different personalities and opinions. It can be tough:
- Balancing the needs of the school, volunteers and parents.
- Holding boundaries while staying approachable.
- Keeping things moving without burning out.
Good leadership in a PTA isn’t about being the loudest voice. It’s about:
- Listening to different views.
- Being fair, even when decisions aren’t popular.
- Protecting the culture: respectful, kind and child-focused.
Sometimes that means gently reminding everyone:
We’re all volunteers. We all deserve to be spoken to with respect.
6. When things feel difficult, remember the “why”
In tricky moments, it’s easy to get lost in:
- A tense message.
- A disagreement over how something was handled.
- A stressful run-up to a big event.
But behind all of it, the “why” is simple:
- To create great experiences for the children.
- To support the school.
- To build a sense of community.
We won’t always get it right. People will clash. Feelings will sometimes get bruised. That’s normal in any group of humans. What matters is how we move forward:
- With a bit of humility.
- With a bit of patience.
- And with a lot of appreciation for those who show up and try.
7. Different people are our strength, not our weakness
The very thing that makes working together challenging — our differences — is also what makes the PTA powerful.
We need:
- Organised list-makers and big-idea people.
- Quiet doers behind the scenes and confident front-of-house types.
- People who love numbers and people who love decorations.
When we recognise those differences as assets rather than problems, everything changes.
Final thought
Working with different people will never be completely smooth.
But if we can keep three things at the heart of how we operate — respect, kindness and a shared purpose — we can navigate the bumps and still move forward together.
At the end of the day, we’re all here for the same reason:
to make school life that little bit better, brighter and more memorable for our children.